Single, married, living together, its complicated etc. Just a few of a long list of terms that are meant to describe our relationship status these days. Of that list of terms or relationship status labels, being “single” is arguably the most notorious among women. For some of us, “S” for single, could be considered the new scarlet letter. However, for others, being “single” carries a much more liberating and empowering connotation. The stark contrast in views reflects one truth about being single, that most people would acknowledge and that is “Single” is by far the most complex of the list of relationship labels. One can argue that not only is it the most complex, but it is also the most misunderstood. There are so many gray areas, so many friends with points of views, so many different types of “single” and so little good advice. As a matter of fact, the biggest contributor to the struggles that some of us may experience with being single is not the lack of advice, but rather the abundance of “not-so-good” advice from family, friends, movies, T.V., music and our coveted magic eight-ball.
That is why it is always refreshing to find a voice that understands the frustration single women feel and has the uplifting message that being single is not a curse. The message that we should embrace our status as a blessing and use our “aloneness” as a time to learn about ourselves. To pamper ourselves. To better ourselves. To love ourselves. A voice that understands the frustrations single women feel. A voice that can help strengthen us when we are under pressure from friends and family. A voice that assures us we are not alone when we feel lonely. And we have found one of those voices.
Mandy Hale, has been working hard to bring a clearer, more exciting perspective on dating and being single in her column, at the Nashville Examiner and through her Twitter page, The Single Woman.
Tell me about yourself
I am 31 years old. I am single, I have never been married. I am currently in public relations. I am a publicist. I actually went to school to work in television to be a producer. I did that for a few years. I worked for the ABC affiliate here in Nashville for about a year and a half. Then I moved on to Country Music television, where I was a producer there for, once again, about a year and a half. I loved it and it was really an exciting time in my life. Then ultimately I graduated from that into public relations, which is what I do as my primary job. On the side, I am a writer, I love to write. I have a huge passion for writing. That is what I have been doing on the side since January. I write my column for single women. Technically, it is a column for single women here in Nashville but I try to tailor my articles for single women everywhere.
In January it was actually a new year’s resolution to get back into my writing because I do love writing so much. You do get to do writing in PR, obviously, but not really as much of the more creative, inspirational, and motivational writing. So, I thought about what I could do with my talent to put something out there that is both, something positive and something in which I am good. I thought to myself, “You know what? I am really good at being single.” I then started writing the column and I love it. Much of what I write is from my own life experiences and if not my own, from something that one of my friends have shared with me.
The twitter page was started in February to help to promote the column and I never in a million years thought it would take off like it has. It has gone from zero followers in February to almost 25,000 followers now.
What are the inspirations behind your tweets?
There is a little more to the story. In October, I had ended a year and a half long relationship.. We were actually probably headed down the path to marriage. But I knew in my gut for about three to four months before the relationship ended that it needed to end. I think that a lot of women get comfortable. I know that definitely I did so, I can speak to this. I took a road trip with my dad from Tennessee to Arizona at the beginning of October. I had a wedding to be in and he needed to be in Arizona for business so we decided to take a father/daughter road trip that we hadn’t had the opportunity to take before. I had a chance to really think about my relationship and my life and where my life was headed. I went to the wedding and actually caught the bouquet -which typically signifies that maybe you are the next to get married. Well, for me, I think catching the bouquet empowered me. I came back home literally the day after I got back and ended the relationship. And I have never looked back. From that moment forward, I was determined to never settle for less than one hundred percent. Given that I had lived that experience, I now feel such a strong desire to encourage other women to never settle for the comfortable relationship instead of the road less traveled.
The inspiration for me is to empower women who are stuck in a situation like I was stuck in. To give them a ray of light. To let them know you have other options.
Being single is not a bad thing. You get to live life on your own terms. You get to choose the way your life is going to go. On a daily basis I get tweets from women saying, “You encouraged me to end this relationship that I know needed to end a long time ago”. Now I am so happy. I am so thankful.
That, for me, is so incredibility humbling. To be able to do that in 140 characters or less, is the amazing thing about Twitter, being able to have that awesome privilege of being able to speak into other women’s lives. Getting to help other women see that there are other options… A different life… A better life. Whether or not “better” means flying solo for a while, or ending up in another relationship -the relationship you were meant to be in, not the one you settled for. For me it is the inspiration of being able to encourage women to live their best life. Never ever, ever settle. That is what keeps me going and keeps me inspired.
Do women reach out and ask you for advice?
They have. My goal is to eventually create my own website to address that. Women have actually started to tweet me and to contact me. There is a link where you can contact me through my examiner page. I have also provided an email address to women. It is, thesinglewoman@gmail.com. I have gotten not only questions asking for advice, but I have received emails from women sharing their success stories on things that they have gone on to change from something they have read on my little twitter page. That just blows my mind.
I never really pictured myself as the advice guru. I am definitely not perfect and I don’t have all the answers. But what I do stand for, and what I do believe in, is always walking out your truth, being 100% yourself, being proud to be yourself, not letting anyone tell you that you are not good enough and not settling for a life that is less than the best. I think women recognize that in my tweets and it leads them to reach out to me.
I do think I have always had a gift for motivating and inspiring and that has become my life’s passion. It is an honor and a privilege to be viewed as someone who is worthy of giving advice. I always really think about the questions and answer from a heartfelt place. This may sound silly but I really pray for my followers and think good things for them. I have taken it upon myself to that. . I don’t want to say to be their “single woman leader,” but it does make me want to do better in my own life. I want to make sure that I am walking out what I tell them to walk out.
What are the topics you cover (twitter)?
A lot on relationships. On friendships. I encourage women to enhance their inner beauty and, why I connected with your site, to be their best selves on the outside as well. I think that is a big part of a person feeling good about themselves, being the very best mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I encourage women to be a little bit sassy. To experiment with style and fashion and all different facets of life. There is so much beauty in life. It is not just singular to a relationship.
I am not about male-bashing or talking down on relationships. I definitely think that love is real. I believe in fairytales and all that wonderful stuff but at the same time I think that a women has to really be okay with herself. To really learn to walk comfortable in her aloneness. To become the best that you can be. To work on the inner beauty and the outer beauty. And obviously the inner beauty is more important than the outer beauty, but at the same time who doesn’t feel beautiful when they have on a pair of brand new stilettos? Who doesn’t feel like they can walk a little bit taller when they have on these beautiful shoes or this beautiful outfit? Even if it is an outfit from WalMart, If you feel beautiful in it, that is all that matters. I want to inspire different thoughts in women, not just what can I do to get a man but how can I be a better woman?
What are the topics you write about in your articles on the Nashville Examiner?
I cover a lot of different things. I write about anything that I am interested in, I try to take that and translate that into my articles. Being single and in my early thirties, I believe that the things I am interested are the things other single women are interested in. I write about different hobbies. I have taken a Zumba (a form of workout) class and written about it. I have written about ballroom dancing. I review movies that I think will appeal to single women. I talk about various relationship issues. I have written an article inspired by a follower that discusses breaking up with a friend and how to handle it, because that can be just as tough as a romantic relationship ending. I try to add a little bit of humor to my articles. I did an article called, Single After Thirty: How to turn a Cautionary Tale into a Fairytale. That was based on one of my friends, who is 34. She went to her doctor for her annual check-up and the doctor asked her, “Are you planning on having kids?”. She said yeah. And the doctor said, “You might want to get on that!” That just struck a chord with me because I feel like there are so many cautions that you’re going to be an old maid, you are going to live a miserable life, just because you’re single and in your 30’s.
I once came across an article that was about how to face the “trauma” of going out alone. So I wrote an article on how to take yourself out and have a good time. I go out by myself and I have a great time. I think other articles take a negative stand, “oh my gosh. How are we going to live down the shame of going to the movies alone?” When you take that and you turn them into something empowering and you go and you do it, like going to the movies alone, that gives you an extra shot of confidence. I really try to take all of my articles from different standpoints of things that others view in a negative light and turn it by making it a little funny. But hopefully you can also find inspiration in it as well.
Ladies, if you are looking for a entertaining yet, an inspiring and helpful perspective to living the single life then visit Mandy.
Nashville Examiner Single Women column
The Single Woman on Twitter
I follow you on Twitter, & I read your tweets daily. I ABSOLUTELY LOVE your page. I’ve always been in a relationship, but now I’m living the single life, doing my best to embrace it and be a powerful, strong, independent woman, and your Twitter page helps so much more. After reading this article I just feel deeper in love *giggles*. I’m 10x more empowered to live my life to the fullest, do everything that makes ME happy, and accomplish the goals I’ve set for myself, by MYSELF, FIRST, before I settle down. I strive for 100% happiness within myself now before I look for it with someone else. Besides, who knows, maybe throughout my journey love will find me, while still encouraging and pushing me to accomplish everything I dream. And I’m not against that at all. Thank you
I follow u on twitter and absolutely love your concept. I must say that your daily tweets have helped me greatly to feel better about myself and look at my recent breakup in a positive light. I am only 23 and have been in relationship after relationship since I was 16 yrs old. With inspiration from your page, I have now come to realize that being single may not be such a bad thing. I’m looking forward to “doing me”; going back to school and starting the career I’ve always wanted. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all the positive energy and inspiration.
I follow you on Twitter and through your Nashvillle Examiner articles. You truly inspire me. When I am having a bad day, or start to feel sorry for myself, I just take a Twitter break with the Single Woman and “power up” to continue on. Thank you so much, carry on!
hello I am such a fan of yours. I find your work very inspiring & motivating too. I “favorited” every post that I liked and keeping them in mind. I am living a happy single life & with your guidance I can survive each day. Thank you and more power