We’ve all asked it. We’ve all wondered it. What do I wear if I want to be seen as a hip, trendy, fashionista-powerhouse (or at the very least not a woman in mom-jeans)? Well, there’s no need to worry. I have answers for you. In fact, I dare say, you can use these tips well into 2013 or beyond…
Tip #7 – Wear whatever is appropriate for the situation.
If you’re pole dancing, try some fishnets. If you’re teaching, avoid rompers and apple buttons. If you’re skydiving, I recommend wearing a parachute. It’s all about the time and place. If you wanna take it up a notch, put on your horse-riding boots and grab your Christian Grey riding crop to turn heads.
Tip #6 – Wear whatever makes you feel confident.
Okay, so I’m all for wearing animal print high heels if you envision yourself sticking them up the ass of your idiot boss or go for a turtleneck sweater if foreplay went high school hickey-ish last night. Do what you gotta do, just wear it with swagger. And give ‘em a little hint of oxblood as they walk by, too. It’ll scream 2012.
Tip #5 – Wear whatever flatters your figure and nips in at all the right places.
Hey, tailoring makes everybody look like their better-than-life superhero self. If the corset fits, wear it (but preferably under something, we don’t want you to get fired)! Extra points if it’s metallic and hypnotically shiny like Harley Davidson chrome. Metallic’s in, baby!
Tip #4 – Wear whatever looks rich and timeless even if it cost $5 on the clearance rack.
Good material and classics never go out of style, i.e. the Levi’s jeans jacket you bought two sizes too big to look like Punky Brewster that now fits perfectly over a color-blocked summer dress for transitioning into fall.
Tip # 3 – Wear whatever you feel comfortable in.
Maybe I should clarify that – feel free to wear flats or snuggly faux fur, and here’s a little secret: nobody knows if the lining is fleece! However, comfortable does not mean your pajamas unless you’ve managed to score one of those great work-from-home gigs sans Skype. Just sayin’. Otherwise, I recommend a touch of neon and a scarf to keep those fall winds at bay.
Tip # 2 – Wear whatever gets you compliments no matter how old it is.
No one will ask if those are your 2003 Guess jeans, and if somebody actually does, we call it “vintage,” dear. Vintage. We all have that trench coat in an ice-cream-scoop shade or a pair of jeans that flatters like a talk show host. I don’t care if you bought them when you were pre-husband and child, if you can rock the look, strike a pose.
Tip #1 – Wear whatever you look good in.
Seriously. If you can wear jeggings and a white Hanes t-shirt, go for it. If you can’t; DON’T! Wear the clothes that look good on you when you look in the mirror on your fat days. Our go-to outfit is that for a reason. Never be afraid to go with what you look good in. Some people should wear high-wasted pants…The rest of us should not. (It’s okay, Jessica Simpson. I’m right there with ya.) Some people can go braless. Some best not. If you prefer not to shriek in horror at photos of yourself, wear what your gut (thin or fat that day) tells you.
Bio: As a self-proclaimed herder of kids, cattle, and words, Bolton Carley is a farmer’s daughter posing as a teacher by day and a writer by night. She’s a pop culture addict, an annoying photographer (at least in the eyes of her family), a fashion follower, an advice giver, and a curser by nature.
You can find her verse novella, Hello, Summer Vacay! on Amazon, her general take on all life’s events at Bolton Carley’s Blog, her life advice at Bolton Carley’s Bottom Line, some samples of her poetry at Bolton Carley’s Big Secret, her commentary in 140 words or less on Twitter, or if you want the full scoop from all places you can like her Facebook page.
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