It is a cold rainy evening, one that is perfect for cuddling on the couch, in the arms of the one you love and watching (what you hope will be) a good movie. A smile spreads across your face, at the thought of the warmth of his body against you and how sensually intoxicating his smell is. Suddenly, a soft sigh escapes your lips and the smile that was once spread across your face has transformed itself into a deep frown. Yes, it would have been the perfect evening for cuddling if only he didn’t live two hundred seventeen miles away.
photo credit: unknown
There are various reasons why some women end up in a long distance relationship. Two main reasons being, circumstances, when one half of the couple has to move to another state in order to pursue their education or career. The other reason the Internet which has made it possible for single people to connect with one another from around the country and the world.
Whatever the reason that has you involved in a long distance relationship, one thing holds true for this type of relationship, it can be a challenge.
Here is a survival guide in five countdown steps.
5 ways to spend your time apart:
Being away from one another means that you will need to find other ways to spend your free time alone.
1. Develop a new hobby. Have you always enjoyed taking pictures? Do you enjoy making jewelry? Why not indulge in those hobbies more often when you find yourself with free time. Developing a hobby can not only fill the void in time it may lead to a second form of income.
2. Build your relationship with your family and friends. Go out to dinner with your parents. Help your siblings with a project. Plan a party with a friend. Have a girl’s night out with the ladies.
3. Volunteer. What better way to spend time away from the one you love by helping out another? Go to the local animal shelter offer to take dogs for a walk. Help serve a meal at the local soup kitchen. Visit with an elderly patient in a nursing home.
4. Follow dreams. Have you always wanted to write a best-selling novel? Have had thoughts about going back to school to pursue a degree? With no where to go Friday evening why not work on that novel or take a few classes.
5. Reflect. Spend some time remembering all the great qualities that attracted you to him in the first place. It will help to strengthen the bond between the two of you if you concentrate on the positive.
4 ways to keep it spicy:
Being apart from one another means that you can’t always reach out and touch each other when you feel the need. You both have to find other ways to keep the romance alive and the fires smoking.
1. Handwritten letters. Yes, there are emails, text messages, and instant messages however, putting the words in your own handwriting is much more personal and heartfelt.
2. Internet date night. Send an email that reads, “Meet me on Wednesday at 8pm.” Many of us have web cameras and there are services like Skype to make it possible to sit down together and talk face to face. Don’t forget to pull out those high heels and dress up, after all it is a date.
3. Phone calls. Having the chance to hear and listen to how each other’s day went builds a bond (with the added benefit of hearing the sound of their voice).
4. Visits. Being able to spend actual time with each other. There are three visits: The planned visits to each other’s state of residence, a planned visit where you both meet in another state neither of you live in, and unplanned visits, nothing better than to open the door and find the one you love standing there.
3 issues with solutions:
1. Expenses. With the price of gas going up and plane fares that are expensive seeing each other can cause a dent in the savings. Try to plan ahead and book flights at cheaper prices (search the travel sites for the best prices). Try to split the costs, each person paying half of the ticket.
2. Growing apart. With each of you going about your daily lives, spending time with others, or falling dreams you may forget to make ample time for each other. Instead of calling to tell your love one how your day went you find yourself calling a friend. You don’t share enough with each other when you do talk. As time goes you make less contact than when you both first got in the situation. Remember that while all relationships take commitment, long distance ones take double that effort. Pick up the phone, email, write, and visit.
3. Loneliness. You have spent time with family and friends. You took up a hobby and are going back to school. Still there are those moments at night when you feel lonely. Give your loved one a call or send an email to tell him how you are feeling. Sometimes talking about things can make you feel better and as far away from one another.
2 solutions:
There are two solutions that all couples in long distance relationships must eventually come to.
1. Someone must move. One of you is going to have to move to the other state or you both of you are going to have to move to another state all together. The one thing that should be keep in mind is that neither one should move if marriage has not been discussed or is a possibility and if some type of long term commitment has not been made.
2. Let it go. Sometimes the only solution is to let go and move on.
1 thing to remember:
1. Always be true to yourself. If you are not a person who can handle distance or not seeing the one you love frequently then a long distance relationship is not for you and may only end up causing you more heartache than you need.
If being in a long distance relationship is still the choice always address any issues, such as loneliness or money, with your partner immediately. Together the two of you will discover your own guide to staying connected.
